As long as I can remember I had some health issues, starting with a hip dysplasia when I was a toddler. I was an extremely shy and anxious child, very quiet and introvert. I started to develop very early on red puffy cheeks. I felt awkward and clumsy, and terrified of social situations. Looking back, I can clearly see some autistic patterns in my behavior, and I know I had been definitely on the spectrum.
Teachers in elementary school noticed how little body language or facial expression I showed, that I was not interacting much socially. And then everything got worse around age 9. I spiraled down into a deep cloud of brain fog and even more autistic behavior. I stopped completely participating in class at school, because I felt too frozen to say something and have all the attention on me. I developed strange ritualistic and almost obsessive behaviors. I didn't communicate much, I felt frozen inside, I couldn't look people in the eyes, I couldn't focus. I spoke in a monotonous voice and acted like an adult or a little nerdy professor. My social interactions had dropped to zero.
Added to that came the physical issues. The red flushed cheeks and a puffy face. Constant throat and ear infections. Bronchitis all the time with never ending coughing fits. Light and sound sensitivity. In puberty I developed keratosis pilaris on my upper arms and the first signs of hormonal imbalances. My period was extremely irregular. I later got diagnosed with PCOS. I often had extreme stomach cramps that would bring me to the ER. Chronic constipation. Around the age of 14 the eating disorders started. Extreme sugar cravings and binges, alternating with phases of starving myself. Bloating. White coated swollen tongue. Low muscle tone and clumsiness. I was always weaker and performed worse than classmates in school sports. Later on heavy sweating. Nail fungus and thrush. Very high heart rate. Stubborn belly fat with skinny arms and legs. Dry brittle hair. Heart-burn and reflux. Excessive saliva. I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism and put on medication.
Then panic attacks. Suicidal depression. Auto-aggression. Heart palpitations. Immense anger and irritability.
I didn't know much about health and just took it as it was. I never knew a different way of being. The diet of my family wasn't super bad but also not great. A lot of processed foods, and my mother, severely sick and depressed herself, was addicted to sugar and sweets. I joined her in that addiction, and in my teenage years alternated between food restriction and uncontrollable sugar binges.
In my early to mid twenties I finally decided to eat healthier, and discovered a whole world online about Holistic Health. This would become the center of my life for the next decade.
Teachers in elementary school noticed how little body language or facial expression I showed, that I was not interacting much socially. And then everything got worse around age 9. I spiraled down into a deep cloud of brain fog and even more autistic behavior. I stopped completely participating in class at school, because I felt too frozen to say something and have all the attention on me. I developed strange ritualistic and almost obsessive behaviors. I didn't communicate much, I felt frozen inside, I couldn't look people in the eyes, I couldn't focus. I spoke in a monotonous voice and acted like an adult or a little nerdy professor. My social interactions had dropped to zero.
Added to that came the physical issues. The red flushed cheeks and a puffy face. Constant throat and ear infections. Bronchitis all the time with never ending coughing fits. Light and sound sensitivity. In puberty I developed keratosis pilaris on my upper arms and the first signs of hormonal imbalances. My period was extremely irregular. I later got diagnosed with PCOS. I often had extreme stomach cramps that would bring me to the ER. Chronic constipation. Around the age of 14 the eating disorders started. Extreme sugar cravings and binges, alternating with phases of starving myself. Bloating. White coated swollen tongue. Low muscle tone and clumsiness. I was always weaker and performed worse than classmates in school sports. Later on heavy sweating. Nail fungus and thrush. Very high heart rate. Stubborn belly fat with skinny arms and legs. Dry brittle hair. Heart-burn and reflux. Excessive saliva. I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism and put on medication.
Then panic attacks. Suicidal depression. Auto-aggression. Heart palpitations. Immense anger and irritability.
I didn't know much about health and just took it as it was. I never knew a different way of being. The diet of my family wasn't super bad but also not great. A lot of processed foods, and my mother, severely sick and depressed herself, was addicted to sugar and sweets. I joined her in that addiction, and in my teenage years alternated between food restriction and uncontrollable sugar binges.
In my early to mid twenties I finally decided to eat healthier, and discovered a whole world online about Holistic Health. This would become the center of my life for the next decade.
So why did I get so sick? Toxins.
My mother had already been pretty toxic when she was pregnant with me. She had many amalgam fillings, and she struggled all her life with severe mental health issues as well as extremely bad eczema, digestive problems and allergies.
So I was born with already a pretty high load of metals and imbalances (as the mother's toxins pass over to the unborn child). I also found out later that I have the MTHFR 1298 mutation which impairs proper detoxification, as well as genes for celiac disease, which probably meant that all the gluten I was eating caused damage to my intestines and it's ability to absorb nutrients. I wasn't breastfed (but fed a formula which most likely contained gluten and soy) which is disastrous for developing a healthy gut flora and immune system. So my gut health was extremely compromised. I got vaccines (aluminium and mercury). At the dentist and for use at home I got a toothpaste super high in fluoride which I was using once a week (left on the teeth for a few minutes). Fluoride is a neurotoxin and a killer for the pineal gland and wreaks havoc with your hormones. And at age 9 I got amalgam fillings. That was the final drop when my already fragile health spiraled down. The constant throat and ear infections started right after that and I got prescribed lots of antibiotics which further killed what was left of my little gut bacteria. I became more or less autistic (still functioning but definitely completely on the spectrum. I never got diagnosed officially because back then that wasn't a thing really where I lived).
For my irregular period they put me on the birth control pill (which leads to more toxicity and depletes nutrients).
And to top it off, I got 4 hepatitis B vaccinations (containing mercury) when I was about 15 years old, as well as more vaccines at age 18 and 20. After a wisdom teeth extraction in my early twenties I took another antibiotic which left me with a case of clostridium difficile.
Pretty bad luck to become a healthy human being. How I still managed to function (and complete a Master's degree) is beyond me.
A bad gut flora enhances heavy metal toxicity, and heavy metals kill the good gut bacteria and enhance parasites and bad bacteria - a vicious cycle. Systemic Candida overgrowth on all levels. Gluten - if you are predisposed for celiac disease - causes massive damage to your gut villi so you don't absorb nutrients properly and cause massive inflammation. This mix of heavy metals and bad bacteria and parasites create leaky gut which can cause a host of allergies. A compromised gut and toxins are very hard on the liver which in turn cannot do it's job of detoxification anymore. Which causes a lot of stress on the adrenals and thyroid. Heavy metals impair the pineal and pituitary gland, which leads to sleep issues, no dreaming and hormonal imbalances. A lack of nutrients from poor absorption doesn't help either. So it was a whole mix of disaster. I had never experienced a healthy normal body how it was supposed to be.
I had a colleague at work who had studied naturopathy and offered me a free kinesiology session which revealed that I was super high in heavy metals. Back then I didn't know much about this. She prescribed me chlorella and cilantro tincture, which was the worst thing I could have done. Cilantro is a super powerful mobiliser of heavy metals, and since I was extremely toxic, this stirred things up massively and crashed my adrenals. I felt like an 80 year old woman. I could hardly walk to get my groceries. Really bad times.
So I continued my battle and studied studied studied. I learned about autism and asperger's and found myself very much on the spectrum (I tried to get an official diagnosis in my early twenties but even though I scored high on the tests, they refused to give me the diagnosis because I was able to make eye contact, something that didn't come naturally to me but I had to learn), and I read that heavy metals can cause it and that many kids respond very well to a gluten- and dairy free diet. After one week being off gluten and dairy the brain fog lifted for the first time and I felt like a new person. I added in some grapefruit seed extract to kill off Candida and felt even better.
This was the start of me getting better. But a long road was still ahead of me.
Since then I have done many (MANY) things and methods of natural healing and detoxing. DMSA, Cutler Protocol, Pyroluria Protocol (I scored high on Pyroluria which basically means your body is excreting Vitamin B6 and Zinc at a high rate). I tried many different supplements as well as many different diet approaches. I went vegan for 5 years, 2,5 of them I was raw vegan. I was doing better and I had left my home country Germany to travel, and stopped all detox for a few years, even though I still had many lingering symptoms.
In 2017 I researched once more about my remaining symptoms and stumbled upon Josh Macin's Detox Dudes Page. His website was basically the best collection I had come across so far about mercury toxicity and detox. Josh had suffered himself from extreme depression and mental health issues for many years before realising that it was his amalgam fillings causing it. He recovered and is now teaching people how to heal themselves. In January 2018 I finally met up with him and other detox folks in California which brought me back to my healing journey. I realised that I still needed to do the detox work because heavy metals don't leave the body by themselves, especially if your gut is still compromised. I learned about the things I had been missing out and how to detox in a safer way.
I dedicated my life to detoxing, healing my gut, taking plenty of nutrients, supporting my adrenals with adaptogens, meditating daily. Most of all I see my mission in helping others. I know first-hand what these toxins can do and I know we are all exposed to toxins on a regular basis (chemtrails, prescription drugs, vaccines, pesticides, EMF...). I know that many diseases and ailments are caused by toxicity. Parkinson's, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Autism, Alzheimer's....the list goes on but generally any autoimmune disease is just an expression of your body fighting the toxic overload. With mandatory vaccines on the way I feel even more obliged to share what I have learned.
These days I am not depressed anymore (although I do have short bouts of it when I overdo the detoxing, or if I am exposed to gluten). I am happy. I feel bliss on a regular basis, and more connected to Spirit. I have energy and am able to build muscle. My thyroid levels are getting better and better at every blood test. My hair looks so much healthier and shinier. My heart rate is normal, I can interact socially fine, the facial flushing got much better (especially when I watch my diet and leave out the worst offenders for my gut health). My period is perfectly regular and I don't have cysts on my ovaries anymore. I sleep great and dream a lot and can remember my dreams. No more obsessive behaviors and thoughts.
I am not done detoxing, and I wonder if too much damage had been done to my body too early on, to ever recover fully.
But the happiness I am feeling and the inner knowing that I now have the tools to prevent me ever falling back into depression is the most important to me. I just have a few other minor physical issues and I actually trust they will disappear soon, too.
I do believe that trauma too of course has an effect on your mental health, and it might be a vicious cycle - toxic people behave toxic (narcissistic, violent...) and can cause trauma in their partners, children, family members. Trauma and resulting energy blocks lead to an accumulation of toxins. I believe one has to address both, the physical and mental part. A healthy physical body can lead so much easier to a healthy happy mind.
My mother had already been pretty toxic when she was pregnant with me. She had many amalgam fillings, and she struggled all her life with severe mental health issues as well as extremely bad eczema, digestive problems and allergies.
So I was born with already a pretty high load of metals and imbalances (as the mother's toxins pass over to the unborn child). I also found out later that I have the MTHFR 1298 mutation which impairs proper detoxification, as well as genes for celiac disease, which probably meant that all the gluten I was eating caused damage to my intestines and it's ability to absorb nutrients. I wasn't breastfed (but fed a formula which most likely contained gluten and soy) which is disastrous for developing a healthy gut flora and immune system. So my gut health was extremely compromised. I got vaccines (aluminium and mercury). At the dentist and for use at home I got a toothpaste super high in fluoride which I was using once a week (left on the teeth for a few minutes). Fluoride is a neurotoxin and a killer for the pineal gland and wreaks havoc with your hormones. And at age 9 I got amalgam fillings. That was the final drop when my already fragile health spiraled down. The constant throat and ear infections started right after that and I got prescribed lots of antibiotics which further killed what was left of my little gut bacteria. I became more or less autistic (still functioning but definitely completely on the spectrum. I never got diagnosed officially because back then that wasn't a thing really where I lived).
For my irregular period they put me on the birth control pill (which leads to more toxicity and depletes nutrients).
And to top it off, I got 4 hepatitis B vaccinations (containing mercury) when I was about 15 years old, as well as more vaccines at age 18 and 20. After a wisdom teeth extraction in my early twenties I took another antibiotic which left me with a case of clostridium difficile.
Pretty bad luck to become a healthy human being. How I still managed to function (and complete a Master's degree) is beyond me.
A bad gut flora enhances heavy metal toxicity, and heavy metals kill the good gut bacteria and enhance parasites and bad bacteria - a vicious cycle. Systemic Candida overgrowth on all levels. Gluten - if you are predisposed for celiac disease - causes massive damage to your gut villi so you don't absorb nutrients properly and cause massive inflammation. This mix of heavy metals and bad bacteria and parasites create leaky gut which can cause a host of allergies. A compromised gut and toxins are very hard on the liver which in turn cannot do it's job of detoxification anymore. Which causes a lot of stress on the adrenals and thyroid. Heavy metals impair the pineal and pituitary gland, which leads to sleep issues, no dreaming and hormonal imbalances. A lack of nutrients from poor absorption doesn't help either. So it was a whole mix of disaster. I had never experienced a healthy normal body how it was supposed to be.
I had a colleague at work who had studied naturopathy and offered me a free kinesiology session which revealed that I was super high in heavy metals. Back then I didn't know much about this. She prescribed me chlorella and cilantro tincture, which was the worst thing I could have done. Cilantro is a super powerful mobiliser of heavy metals, and since I was extremely toxic, this stirred things up massively and crashed my adrenals. I felt like an 80 year old woman. I could hardly walk to get my groceries. Really bad times.
So I continued my battle and studied studied studied. I learned about autism and asperger's and found myself very much on the spectrum (I tried to get an official diagnosis in my early twenties but even though I scored high on the tests, they refused to give me the diagnosis because I was able to make eye contact, something that didn't come naturally to me but I had to learn), and I read that heavy metals can cause it and that many kids respond very well to a gluten- and dairy free diet. After one week being off gluten and dairy the brain fog lifted for the first time and I felt like a new person. I added in some grapefruit seed extract to kill off Candida and felt even better.
This was the start of me getting better. But a long road was still ahead of me.
Since then I have done many (MANY) things and methods of natural healing and detoxing. DMSA, Cutler Protocol, Pyroluria Protocol (I scored high on Pyroluria which basically means your body is excreting Vitamin B6 and Zinc at a high rate). I tried many different supplements as well as many different diet approaches. I went vegan for 5 years, 2,5 of them I was raw vegan. I was doing better and I had left my home country Germany to travel, and stopped all detox for a few years, even though I still had many lingering symptoms.
In 2017 I researched once more about my remaining symptoms and stumbled upon Josh Macin's Detox Dudes Page. His website was basically the best collection I had come across so far about mercury toxicity and detox. Josh had suffered himself from extreme depression and mental health issues for many years before realising that it was his amalgam fillings causing it. He recovered and is now teaching people how to heal themselves. In January 2018 I finally met up with him and other detox folks in California which brought me back to my healing journey. I realised that I still needed to do the detox work because heavy metals don't leave the body by themselves, especially if your gut is still compromised. I learned about the things I had been missing out and how to detox in a safer way.
I dedicated my life to detoxing, healing my gut, taking plenty of nutrients, supporting my adrenals with adaptogens, meditating daily. Most of all I see my mission in helping others. I know first-hand what these toxins can do and I know we are all exposed to toxins on a regular basis (chemtrails, prescription drugs, vaccines, pesticides, EMF...). I know that many diseases and ailments are caused by toxicity. Parkinson's, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Autism, Alzheimer's....the list goes on but generally any autoimmune disease is just an expression of your body fighting the toxic overload. With mandatory vaccines on the way I feel even more obliged to share what I have learned.
These days I am not depressed anymore (although I do have short bouts of it when I overdo the detoxing, or if I am exposed to gluten). I am happy. I feel bliss on a regular basis, and more connected to Spirit. I have energy and am able to build muscle. My thyroid levels are getting better and better at every blood test. My hair looks so much healthier and shinier. My heart rate is normal, I can interact socially fine, the facial flushing got much better (especially when I watch my diet and leave out the worst offenders for my gut health). My period is perfectly regular and I don't have cysts on my ovaries anymore. I sleep great and dream a lot and can remember my dreams. No more obsessive behaviors and thoughts.
I am not done detoxing, and I wonder if too much damage had been done to my body too early on, to ever recover fully.
But the happiness I am feeling and the inner knowing that I now have the tools to prevent me ever falling back into depression is the most important to me. I just have a few other minor physical issues and I actually trust they will disappear soon, too.
I do believe that trauma too of course has an effect on your mental health, and it might be a vicious cycle - toxic people behave toxic (narcissistic, violent...) and can cause trauma in their partners, children, family members. Trauma and resulting energy blocks lead to an accumulation of toxins. I believe one has to address both, the physical and mental part. A healthy physical body can lead so much easier to a healthy happy mind.
