I am a girl in her mid-thirties trying to solve her health-puzzle.
I am grateful for all the stuff I had to deal with because it taught me so many lessons and tools. Now I feel I am getting better with age and the best is yet to come, while it is probably the other way around for many people.
I am grateful for all the stuff I had to deal with because it taught me so many lessons and tools. Now I feel I am getting better with age and the best is yet to come, while it is probably the other way around for many people.
The long story
My mother had been pretty toxic already when she was pregnant with me. She had amalgam fillings, and she probably had already pretty severe copper toxicity. (Emotional and energetic imbalances also play a big role in health. My mother had been adopted and struggled all her life with the fact that she doesn't know where she came from and why she had been given away. Spending the most important first years of one's life in an orphanage leaves marks on a soul for sure. This is why it's important to focus on both aspects for healing, the physical detox but also the emotional detox. It's the chicken and egg question really: what was first, the toxicity leading to emotional problems or the other way around? Also regarding her mother: what led her to give away her child? Was it the genetic flaws that had been passed onto my mother and now onto me? Or the negative energies?).
So I was born with already a pretty high load of metals and imbalances. I wasn't breastfed which is not helpful for developing a healthy gut flora. I got vaccines (aluminium and mercury). And then I got amalgam fillings in my milk teeth. That was the final drop when my already fragile health spiraled down. Back then in the 80's topics like heavy metal toxicity or even autism were not very common, so nobody really paid much attention when I sank into a deep cloud of brain fog with autistic like behaviors. (This is why we have this crazy growing number of autism these days: my generation was already loaded with metals but we still coped somehow, and we still reproduced, but we transmit our toxic load onto our babies, which then get an even higher amount of vaccinations as we did back then in the 80's. Now the bodies of these babies are fully shutting down).
Not only did I get constant throat infections and bronchitis, but I had sensory overload, I couldn't cope with other people, I felt an immense tension, fear and stress inside. Everything stressed me out. Going to a friend's house I wouldn't even say Hi to the parents. I was in my own world. I couldn't look anybody in the eyes. I kept my eyes glued to the ground when I was walking to school. I also was pretty sensitive to light. I couldn't focus in class, as my auditory system was overstimulated. I stopped participating in class, I sat frozen on my chair and couldn't wait to go home and hide in my room. My grandparents said I talked like a little professor, very precocious and I was very serious and rather sat with the adults than the other kids. It was as if my brain aged rapidly. I was severely depressed.
I had red flushed cheeks all the time, and in puberty I developed keratosis pilaris on my upper arms. My period was very irregular so they put me on the birth control pill (more toxins). I later got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
To top it off, I got 4 hepatitis B vaccinations when I was around 16, which contain more mercury. I developed eating disorders, mainly with phases of hardly eating, followed by binge eating. I managed to get through school and even made it to university. In uni in my early twenties I had massive panic attacks where I was hyperventilating. I smoked, and drank alcohol of course. I didn't socialize much, and still couldn't focus much in lectures. How I managed to get a Master's degree at university is still beyond me. In my mid twenties I finally started learning what was causing all of this.
A case of severe diarrhea made me research healthy eating, and I came across Candida, food intolerances etc. I found a self-help forum on the internet which would become my main focus of study for the next years. I learned so much from these people and I am forever grateful for them! I also had a colleague at work who had studied naturopathy and offered me a free kinesiology session which revealed that I was super high in heavy metals. Back then I didn't know much about this. She prescribed me chlorella and cilantro, which was the worst thing I could have done. Cilantro is a super powerful mobiliser of heavy metals, and since I was extremely toxic, this stirred things up massively and crashed my adrenals. I felt like an 80 year old woman. I could hardly walk to get my groceries. Really bad times.
So I continued my battle and studied studied studied. I learned about autism and asperger's and found myself very much like that, and I read that heavy metals can cause it and that many kids respond very well to a gluten- and dairy free diet. After one week being off gluten and dairy the brain fog lifted for the first time and I felt like a new person. I added in some grapefruit seed extract to kill off Candida and felt even better.
Since then I have done many (MANY) things and methods of natural healing and detoxing. Whatever I could afford I tried. Whatever diet was out there, I tried it. I got better and better, and then I thought I had found the holy "heals all" grail Raw Veganism, and I ate raw foods only for 2,5 years. I had left my home country Germany to move to Spain. I felt good, and stopped all other detox methods and just soaked up the sunshine and nature and ate raw foods.
But some symptoms remained, and I also depleted my body of nutrients with my way of eating. Yes I was eating all raw, but not in a healthy way. I was restricting calories again while working and moving for 12 hours daily on a farm. I finally realized that my lack of sex drive, my brittle hair and my weak muscles told me something. It's quite brain washing following veganism and raw veganism, and it puts a massive load on your copper toxicity because most plant foods are high in copper and low in zinc. I started eating cooked foods again and later on animal products. I gained a lot (LOT) of weight but I slowly recovered, gained back some strength and lost most of that weight eventually.
I moved to Italy and later to Malaysia, not really focusing on detox, as I was stable enough to just live my life.
Still, I wasn't at my optimum health, and during a travel around the world in 2017/2018 I met up with other detox folks in California (check out Josh Macin) which brought me back to my healing journey. I realised that I still needed to do the detox work because heavy metals don't leave the body by themselves really. I learned about the things I had been missing out and how to detox in a safer way other than chelation. I remembered my diagnosis Pyroluria from a decade ago. I realised how high in toxic copper I probably still was.
I dedicated my life to detoxing, healing my gut, taking plenty of nutrients, supporting my adrenals with adaptogens, meditating daily. I stopped my intense gym workouts as they were too taxing on my adrenals, and just go for long walks or do some gentle yoga.
Recently I found my new "holy grail" and I think this is the real deal: Advanced TRS. It is a nano-sized zeolite spray that removes all heavy metals and toxins in a very gentle way. Yes I was skeptical at first, especially since it is an affiliate product and you can never know which testimonials are real or fake. But I tried it, and it does work.
This journey is not over yet but I want to share it here and help other digest their depression.
My mother had been pretty toxic already when she was pregnant with me. She had amalgam fillings, and she probably had already pretty severe copper toxicity. (Emotional and energetic imbalances also play a big role in health. My mother had been adopted and struggled all her life with the fact that she doesn't know where she came from and why she had been given away. Spending the most important first years of one's life in an orphanage leaves marks on a soul for sure. This is why it's important to focus on both aspects for healing, the physical detox but also the emotional detox. It's the chicken and egg question really: what was first, the toxicity leading to emotional problems or the other way around? Also regarding her mother: what led her to give away her child? Was it the genetic flaws that had been passed onto my mother and now onto me? Or the negative energies?).
So I was born with already a pretty high load of metals and imbalances. I wasn't breastfed which is not helpful for developing a healthy gut flora. I got vaccines (aluminium and mercury). And then I got amalgam fillings in my milk teeth. That was the final drop when my already fragile health spiraled down. Back then in the 80's topics like heavy metal toxicity or even autism were not very common, so nobody really paid much attention when I sank into a deep cloud of brain fog with autistic like behaviors. (This is why we have this crazy growing number of autism these days: my generation was already loaded with metals but we still coped somehow, and we still reproduced, but we transmit our toxic load onto our babies, which then get an even higher amount of vaccinations as we did back then in the 80's. Now the bodies of these babies are fully shutting down).
Not only did I get constant throat infections and bronchitis, but I had sensory overload, I couldn't cope with other people, I felt an immense tension, fear and stress inside. Everything stressed me out. Going to a friend's house I wouldn't even say Hi to the parents. I was in my own world. I couldn't look anybody in the eyes. I kept my eyes glued to the ground when I was walking to school. I also was pretty sensitive to light. I couldn't focus in class, as my auditory system was overstimulated. I stopped participating in class, I sat frozen on my chair and couldn't wait to go home and hide in my room. My grandparents said I talked like a little professor, very precocious and I was very serious and rather sat with the adults than the other kids. It was as if my brain aged rapidly. I was severely depressed.
I had red flushed cheeks all the time, and in puberty I developed keratosis pilaris on my upper arms. My period was very irregular so they put me on the birth control pill (more toxins). I later got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
To top it off, I got 4 hepatitis B vaccinations when I was around 16, which contain more mercury. I developed eating disorders, mainly with phases of hardly eating, followed by binge eating. I managed to get through school and even made it to university. In uni in my early twenties I had massive panic attacks where I was hyperventilating. I smoked, and drank alcohol of course. I didn't socialize much, and still couldn't focus much in lectures. How I managed to get a Master's degree at university is still beyond me. In my mid twenties I finally started learning what was causing all of this.
A case of severe diarrhea made me research healthy eating, and I came across Candida, food intolerances etc. I found a self-help forum on the internet which would become my main focus of study for the next years. I learned so much from these people and I am forever grateful for them! I also had a colleague at work who had studied naturopathy and offered me a free kinesiology session which revealed that I was super high in heavy metals. Back then I didn't know much about this. She prescribed me chlorella and cilantro, which was the worst thing I could have done. Cilantro is a super powerful mobiliser of heavy metals, and since I was extremely toxic, this stirred things up massively and crashed my adrenals. I felt like an 80 year old woman. I could hardly walk to get my groceries. Really bad times.
So I continued my battle and studied studied studied. I learned about autism and asperger's and found myself very much like that, and I read that heavy metals can cause it and that many kids respond very well to a gluten- and dairy free diet. After one week being off gluten and dairy the brain fog lifted for the first time and I felt like a new person. I added in some grapefruit seed extract to kill off Candida and felt even better.
Since then I have done many (MANY) things and methods of natural healing and detoxing. Whatever I could afford I tried. Whatever diet was out there, I tried it. I got better and better, and then I thought I had found the holy "heals all" grail Raw Veganism, and I ate raw foods only for 2,5 years. I had left my home country Germany to move to Spain. I felt good, and stopped all other detox methods and just soaked up the sunshine and nature and ate raw foods.
But some symptoms remained, and I also depleted my body of nutrients with my way of eating. Yes I was eating all raw, but not in a healthy way. I was restricting calories again while working and moving for 12 hours daily on a farm. I finally realized that my lack of sex drive, my brittle hair and my weak muscles told me something. It's quite brain washing following veganism and raw veganism, and it puts a massive load on your copper toxicity because most plant foods are high in copper and low in zinc. I started eating cooked foods again and later on animal products. I gained a lot (LOT) of weight but I slowly recovered, gained back some strength and lost most of that weight eventually.
I moved to Italy and later to Malaysia, not really focusing on detox, as I was stable enough to just live my life.
Still, I wasn't at my optimum health, and during a travel around the world in 2017/2018 I met up with other detox folks in California (check out Josh Macin) which brought me back to my healing journey. I realised that I still needed to do the detox work because heavy metals don't leave the body by themselves really. I learned about the things I had been missing out and how to detox in a safer way other than chelation. I remembered my diagnosis Pyroluria from a decade ago. I realised how high in toxic copper I probably still was.
I dedicated my life to detoxing, healing my gut, taking plenty of nutrients, supporting my adrenals with adaptogens, meditating daily. I stopped my intense gym workouts as they were too taxing on my adrenals, and just go for long walks or do some gentle yoga.
Recently I found my new "holy grail" and I think this is the real deal: Advanced TRS. It is a nano-sized zeolite spray that removes all heavy metals and toxins in a very gentle way. Yes I was skeptical at first, especially since it is an affiliate product and you can never know which testimonials are real or fake. But I tried it, and it does work.
This journey is not over yet but I want to share it here and help other digest their depression.
